Amendment IIIX or VII if you like.

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

What it means:  Pretty straight forward…any lawsuit involving the sum of more then $20 has the option of a trial by jury, and none can take this from you.  Additionally, this can not be changed, and any re-examination of the case of the facts thereof are to be done by a set of rules. 

Today:  Ooh, much abused in todays lawsuit crazy country, for two simple reasons.  Juries tend to be easily swayed by rhetoric, and tend to award outrageous claims.  Not to mention a good lawyer can pick a friendly jury, with their friendly little biases.  I think it is a paraphrasing of Mark Twain that in order to have a trial by jury, first you have to find the most ignorant people around…

Of course, since lawsuits are so costly just in the filing, most people just settle out of court as more cost efficient, EVEN IF THEY WOULD WIN.

Amendment 8, another simple one that isn’t quite all that simple.

Amendment IIX

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted

What it means:  When committing a crime, people tend to get caught, and when caught, they tend to get put on trial, in jail, or if a politician, the ability to give themselves another pay raise.  This amendment was put in to protect the poor from being put into an untenable position.  Bail should be standardized, penalties standardized, and punishments should be fair.  This goes back to when a judge could pretty much do anything the wanted…someone you don’t like is up for trial, set bail too high for them  get free to find evidence, give them a fine that takes all their possessions, and then, for good measure, set fire to a part of their body.  With bail set at certain limits for certain crimes, ability to pay, and the amount of a flight risk a person is, it tried to ensure that a person could GET bail, but should they try to escape, they couldn’t afford to get far.  Plus, y’know, bail bondsmen.

Today:  What with the appeal process, insurance, and standardized punishments, excessive bail and excessive fines aren’t nearly as much a problem as they used to be.  While on occasion bail is denied due to factors of the case, in most instances it is readily available.  Fines for the most part, aren’t excessive.  This is why a corporation could commit a heinous act, and be given an order to clean up the mess and a small fine.  Which is then written off in their taxes as a business expense.  Don’t ask about punitive damages…they are different, are generally excessive, and usually go to the government, not the person wronged.

As for cruel and unusual punishment, being a fan of history, I could tell you stories.  In present day, not so much.  We as a nation aren’t nearly as bad as other countries, in that we at least TRY not to torture people.  Well, we don’t leave marks.  On the outside.  The huge controversy is the death penalty.  Once a person is convicted of a crime, it could be decades before they are put to death, and despite myself, I have to agree with this.  After all, the person might be innocent.  Actually, we’re discovering more and more that they ARE innocent.  On the other hand, a quick painless death versus a lifetime of being locked in a small room, living in constant fear, dealing with the worst sorts of peoples, denied the basic human rights we take for granted…yes, I know our jails are a great deal more comfortable then many nations, but even so.  Then when getting out of jail, many opportunities are now denied (except for a telepreacher, for some reason.  You should SEE the rap sheet these guys have.  And asked for forgiveness for, I’m sure.) for the rest of their lives.

Nothing cruel or unusual in that, no sir!

Day 2, and we will be looking at the 9th Ammendment.

Ammendment IX

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

What it means:  There are those that say this means the same things as posted yesterday in the 10th amendment.  They would be right.  The 9th  amendment, in part, states that just because a right is not stated in the constitution, does not mean that those rights are to be denied.  The main difference is that of power…the 10th amendment is an extension of the 9th, granting not just rights, but also powers available.

What are those rights?  Good question, glad I asked it, no-one has an answer.  The wording was made deliberately vague.  After all, the writers knew they didn’t know everything, and to write up everything they could would be beyond their ability while STILL missing the vast majority of items.  Therefore, the wording is vague so that future generations might be able to fill in the gaps with items never even thought of.

Of course, there is more.  Another interpretation of the amendment is that of precedence…as in, there is none.  A stated right isn’t more important then an unstated one.  One that HAS been stated doesn’t have precedence over another stated one.  As in, the vow of silence a person takes in their religious order (freedom of religion) doesn’t mean that I should be denied my freedom of speech, and vice versa.  All things being considered equal.

Today:  I support your right to a religion, but in turn you have to support my right.  You may have your eggplant, but I get to have my meat dinners.  I think you’re a freaking fruit cake, but as long as you aren’t pushy about it, neither will I be.  Alas, people just can NOT understand that others don’t share their world views, and get pushy…and should be referred to this amendment.

I actually had good feedback on the idea of explaining the Bill of Rights.  Well, offline, anyways.  So, for the next couple of days work permitting, the Bill of Rights.  What it says, what it means, and its use in modern day society.  At one a day, my christmas gift to you.  Working backwards and pulling from the National Archives (and cut and pasted from Wikipedia after double checking)…

Amendment X-

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the states, are reserved to the states respectively, or to the people.

What it means:  The Constitution is the premiere law making document in the United States.  It lists the rights and responsibilities of the federal government and the people of the land.  Anything NOT listed in the Constitution may be covered by state laws, or governed by the people.  as in, if there is no federal law, there may still be a state law, and if there is no state law…it’s legal.

Today:  No set of laws can govern everything, and different areas require different regulations.  Additionally, we don’t want a set of laws so repressive as to control the entirety of every action of society.  That’s why this is in here…anything not already proscribed is fine to do.  At least, until the person gets caught at it.  Of course, there is some debate about that.  The generally accepted idea is that since the person was committing the action before there was a law against it, or not doing something they SHOULD when there is no regulation telling him he should…it’s not a crime and they can not be punished.  Then, legislation is rushed through, new laws made…and the person is generally grandfathered through and still free and clear.  The debate is that some people feel the person should be tried retroactively…for a crime committed when it wasn’t a crime.  Think about that…should it ever become a crime to, say, dye your hair, anyone who has EVER dyed their hair could be brought up on charges.

That’s why, as distasteful as it is, people that create and commit new kinds of criminal acts are often let go, and in scholars opinion, why this amendment was originally included.  We can live without fear that our actions now will get us in trouble later.

Ah, the holidays.  Lights go up, trees come out, carollers start arguing with heavy metal rockers over the appropriate use of the…never mind.  I’m sure that just in my neighborhood.

 Oh, and out of the woodwork come the nutjobs.  Apparently Christmas is, once again, under attack for being a religious holiday.  Ironically, and completely off the point, is that it IS a religious holiday.  They just have the wrong religion.  Still, some people believe that no matter what religion, background, or personal feelings, people should go with what THEY feel the holidays should be.

On one hand, there are those that mistakenly believe that Christmas is a christian holiday and that even if you don’t celebrate christmas, you better darn well celebrate christmas or else!  On the other hand, there are those that also completely miss the point of the holidays and feel that A.  since they don’t feel like celebrating the holidays, no-one else should either, or B.  you HAVE to include ALL religions.

And of course, those of us that feel that both sides should be taken out back and put down as inhumanely as possible because the decorations, songs, and arguments started IN OCTOBER THIS YEAR!!!  They completely bypassed Halloween and Thanksgiving with their inane babbling!  Aargh!

Ok, you know what?  Break it down.  One side says it infringes on their religious rights to not be able to celebrate the holiday as they see fit.  The other side says exactly the same thing.  The way I see it, both sides need to step back and take a good look at themselves.  If someone says happy holidays, say it back.  If someone says merry christmas, say it back.  Or say merry christmas and happy holidays respectively.  Do NOT get offended if the other person doesn’t.  And, most important, do NOT quote the constitution to me.  I have a nasty tendency to look things up when people tell me things, so I know whats in there and what isn’t.  One day I’ll sit down and break down the Bill of Rights for the thinking impaired.

It’s peace on earth, and good will to ALL men.  So lets start getting along.  Or else.

Biggest Hanukkah controversy here this year?  They wanted to hang the menorah in the bakers office this year instead of mine, and didn’t want to hurt my feelings about it but weren’t sure they could get a second one in time for the holiday to start this evening.  I’m not Jewish.

10 reasons why I am better then you, and why I’m not, really.  Because, well, most of these will be blatant lies.

1.  I’m very intelligent.  Actually, I have an IQ of 138.  This means I am rather good at solving problems, not that I am intelligent.  Intelligence consists of problem solving, common sense, and a lot of other factors…to use one criteria is a fallacy.  I have a sneaking suspicion I fail miserably at several other of the criteria…besides, to use fuzzy math, an IQ of 138 puts me at the 2% of the population.  So grab 100 people, and two of us will be that smart…multiply until you get 6 billion people.

2.  I’m handsome.  According to some, I am.  According to others, I’m not.  This one is up to personal taste, and every-ones taste is different.  I am not attracted to super thin waifs…I like a lady with a little meat on her bones.  Uma Thurman is ugly, as is Paris Hilton. 

3.  I’m rich.  Break this one down…did I earn it?  If so, how?  In some ways of earning it, yes, that is respectable, others, not a chance.  If a person inherited the money but still thinks they are better then someone else, that’s just sad.  Mom and/or dad had an itch is NOT a reason to feel superior.

4.  I have cooler things.  Actually, I’d love a 32″ flat screen monitor, better make it two so I can go dual screen.  Still, I would much rather have a sensible car, durable items, clean and serviceable clothes, and a gf that actually cares about me and not my bank account, then to shell out huge bucks for something useless.  Of course, this may be because I have a 138 IQ and see money management as a problem to be solved.

5.  My GF is smoking hot.  This is truth.  She has an MBA, bubbly personality, good self esteem, great wit, and is completely unwilling to let me spout my usual BS.  She is also 5′4″, chubby, wears contacts instead of the sexy glasses, and has normal sized breasts.  Not a super model by a long shot, but to me, she is smoking hot.

6.  I’m in charge.  Well, not really, in this litigious society.  A threat of a lawsuit will often change the power structure, even if the person in charge was RIGHT.  Then again, the reason my department is so successful?  We don’t do things my way.  I listen to them, we try their ideas, and if they work, off we go!  None of this “we tried that, didn’t work” crud.  I’m in charge…but we run the place.

7.  I’m American/have famous parents/a pedigree/etc.  In truth, my parents just got drunk one night, and 9 1/2 months later, out I popped.  100 miles to the north, and I would be Canadian.  Being Canadian would be cool too.  Chalk this one also under the heading “I’m proud mom forgot to use protection”, like inheriting wealth.

8.  I’m better educated.  Ah, if only this were true.  I AM better educated then most people, and even better, it’s not specialized.  I know a lot about a lot of things.  College is a hobby of mine.  Of course, this just hammers in to me just how ignorant I actually am.  Then, looking at other college students, getting their 4 year degree, no experience, and yet…they think they are better then people that have actually been DOING the job for years.

9.  I am of a certain background.  Race, creed, color, religion.  Hey, want to genetically make a superman?  Start interbreeding.  Dominant covers recessive genetics, so one genetic background with good traits will cancel out bad traits from another.  As for creed and religion, well…good luck with that one.  Everyone believes this, and SOMEONE has to be wrong.  Personally, I’m for everyone being wrong and paying me a dollar for it.  And don’t get me started on vegans, or PETA.

10.  I just AM better.  To those, I say these facts gleamed from reading cartoons.  It only takes 7 lbs of pressure to remove a knee cap.  Ears are detachable.  Within 60 years of life, the body starts to break down.  Living to 100 means 40 years of being elderly.  Fertilizer is organic.  I have influence on your kids.  The things you did at 20 will come back to bite you when you are 40.  Oh, and I saw your smoking hot gf with your cool items with a much better looking guy at the vd clinic as I drove by.  They have your credit card.  Good luck with that!

I am, of course, paraphrasing from several news articles.  I think it went a little something like this:

Bsl-Boy Scout Leader

BSA-Boy Scout of America

LBG-Local Boy Scout Groups

SC-Supreme Court

LG-Local Government

BSL-Know what?  We’re gay.

BSA-Know what?  You’re out of here.

LBG-What about the kids?!?

BSA-Know what?  If they’re gay, they’re out too.

BSL-We’ll sue!

SC-Can’t.  They are a private group.  They have the right to discriminate.

BSA-Yeah!  So suck it!

BSL-Did they just say…

SC-Let it go…trust me.

LBG-S’ok.  We’ll still let gays in as leaders and as scouts.

BSA-Nuhn uhn!  You have to do what we say.

SC-Afraid so.  Private organization, and all that.  Right to discriminate.

LBG-But what about the kids?!?

BSA-Right to discriminate!  So nyah!

LG-Hi, Boy Scouts of America Council?  Hey, we’ve been watching this.  We’re your local government.  We supply you with land for your headquarters?

BSA-Hey, hi!  Did you know we can discriminate?  And we do!

LG-Yeah, about that.  We’re a GOVERNMENT.  We’re not allowed to discriminate, nor support any group that does.

BSA-Where are you going with this?

LG-At present, we supply you with land valued at $200,000 a year in rent.  We charge you $1 a year.  Due to your discrimination, we are no longer permitted to do this.  You owe us $199,999.  Failure to pay will result in the eviction of your headquarters.

BSA-But what about the children?!?

Ironically, I was telling this story to some of my co-workers.  Yes, I AM working on getting sent to sensitivity training again…why do you ask?  Anyways, one of my minions, an older man, said that he would gladly donate to the fund to pay for the rent.  He said he would do it only because they discriminate against gays.  Apparently, he doesn’t like them because…wait for it…it is too easy for them in relationships.  They don’t have to prove themselves to their partner.

I wish to pete he was putting me on…

Ka-Pow! That was the general idea anyway…turned out to be more like Ka-Miss. For several years now I have been trying to adapt to city living whereas pest control is concerned. Life used to be good…grab the shotgun and go for it! But, alas, now I would end up in jail for doing a small “community service” of reducing the neighborhood rabbit and squirrel population.

I had switched over to an air pistol when I first moved back into the city. It seemed like it would be just the ticket but I neglected to account for my recent transition to bifocals and the marksmanship just isn’t there anymore. Eventually. I just sold the silly thing and have been reduced to glaring at the pesky critters which hasn’t been particularly effective. I had this vague recollection of being pretty good with a slingshot in my younger days so I snooped around and discovered that they are still available and have actually advanced a bit technology-wise. So I order up a “Wrist-Rocket” and some steel shot with high expectations.

Evidently, one’s expectations of “firepower” increases after serving time in the Army. The slingshot is really lacking in this respect. I suppose some practice might help with the accuracy but the range is just too limited. I am going to have to find some other solution.

Any ideas?

Well heck yes I’m still around. Just missing in action for awhile. Not that I have much to contribute…life just seems to blow on by and although the events change somehow it seems like nothing much has happened. I too made it to a wedding earlier this summer. Tedious things in my opinion. I even had a job in this one. I got to walk up front at the beginning and light a few candles. I told the photographer that I got ripped off. My name wasn’t listed in the “program”. I thought it should have been there and I would have preferred the title Wax Illuminator.

We moved last month. Another tedious thing. This was the shortest move I’ve ever made though. Literally, across the street and down a few houses. Everyone seemed to think it was pretty funny. I had my reasons and no I didn’t rent a moving truck. They always say you are not supposed to buy the best house on the block…well the heck with that. Now I can sit back and enjoy the fruit of someone else’s labor. There is a huge amount things that just disappeared from the honey-do list. Heavy duty stuff like kitchen remodeling, landscaping, driveway repair, window replacements, and so on. Plus I now have this awesome shed. Very large and built like a brick sh*#house. My lawnmower now has a proper habitat instead of hiding under a ratty old blue tarp beside the house.

I don’t have aspergers.  Let me state that right now.

Wedding went off without a hitch.  Groom showed up, bride looked wonderful, everything went off like clockwork.  I wore the red shirt.

Reception?  I lasted half an hour before I had to leave.  I don’t handle boredom well…I HAVE to do things.  Sitting and making small talk isn’t doing something, unless we’re very animated and I can put my full brain on the subject.  Unfortunatly, talking about people’s relatives and/or celebrities actually LOWERS my attention span.  So I left.

This brings me to my point.  Yes, I am a bit shy, I am a little/lot ackward in social situations, and I do NOT have aspergers.  More to the point, I won’t even consider I have it until I have documented evidence from a doctor.  For that matter, I have met a person or three who have claimed to have aspergers, but none of them have actually seen a doctor about it.  They claim it, so it must be so!  Or maybe not.

I point out that they are not doctors, and maybe they should see one before making their claims.  Well, two of them I said that.  The third one I just said she would be able to make friends if she just stopped being a mean biatch.  I like sarcasm done well, but she was just nasty to people.

It’s like the lady I once met.  She weighed in at over 300 lbs.  However, it wasn’t because she was eating twice as much as me, and trust me, I can eat…it was because of her thyroid.  I asked…she wasn’t on meds to control it.  I asked about her doctor…she wasn’t seeing one.  Now, I HAVE known people with thyroid conditions, and one of them was of the sort where it was causing her to gain weight.  She saw a doctor, watched her diet, exercised, and still experienced a slow weight gain.  It does happen.  But for the one lady…no.  Not really.

It was an excuse.  People self diagnose themselves to excuse themselves.  Lousy at social interactions?  Aspergers.  Fat?  Genetic/thyroid.  Mean bastard?  Mommy never hugged him/hugged too much/hugged just enough/hugged someone else more/etc.

So no excuses.  Eat right, exercise, see a doctor, get into other social circles, get a life coach, think before speaking, make yourself useful, stop caring what everyone else thinks about you.  One person I worked with was mean as a snake to me, but she was honest.  She was obese because she loved to eat, hated exercise, and as for being mean…she was a control freak and hated that I had an anti-authoritative outlook.  Her words.

Like I said, I don’t handle boredom well, so I keep busy.  This gets me into trouble sometimes, but I’ve come to accept it, and to love that I know more and have done more then a lot of people.  It’s not aspergers.  Trust me on this…the docs would have said.