10 reasons why I am better then you, and why I’m not, really.  Because, well, most of these will be blatant lies.

1.  I’m very intelligent.  Actually, I have an IQ of 138.  This means I am rather good at solving problems, not that I am intelligent.  Intelligence consists of problem solving, common sense, and a lot of other factors…to use one criteria is a fallacy.  I have a sneaking suspicion I fail miserably at several other of the criteria…besides, to use fuzzy math, an IQ of 138 puts me at the 2% of the population.  So grab 100 people, and two of us will be that smart…multiply until you get 6 billion people.

2.  I’m handsome.  According to some, I am.  According to others, I’m not.  This one is up to personal taste, and every-ones taste is different.  I am not attracted to super thin waifs…I like a lady with a little meat on her bones.  Uma Thurman is ugly, as is Paris Hilton. 

3.  I’m rich.  Break this one down…did I earn it?  If so, how?  In some ways of earning it, yes, that is respectable, others, not a chance.  If a person inherited the money but still thinks they are better then someone else, that’s just sad.  Mom and/or dad had an itch is NOT a reason to feel superior.

4.  I have cooler things.  Actually, I’d love a 32″ flat screen monitor, better make it two so I can go dual screen.  Still, I would much rather have a sensible car, durable items, clean and serviceable clothes, and a gf that actually cares about me and not my bank account, then to shell out huge bucks for something useless.  Of course, this may be because I have a 138 IQ and see money management as a problem to be solved.

5.  My GF is smoking hot.  This is truth.  She has an MBA, bubbly personality, good self esteem, great wit, and is completely unwilling to let me spout my usual BS.  She is also 5′4″, chubby, wears contacts instead of the sexy glasses, and has normal sized breasts.  Not a super model by a long shot, but to me, she is smoking hot.

6.  I’m in charge.  Well, not really, in this litigious society.  A threat of a lawsuit will often change the power structure, even if the person in charge was RIGHT.  Then again, the reason my department is so successful?  We don’t do things my way.  I listen to them, we try their ideas, and if they work, off we go!  None of this “we tried that, didn’t work” crud.  I’m in charge…but we run the place.

7.  I’m American/have famous parents/a pedigree/etc.  In truth, my parents just got drunk one night, and 9 1/2 months later, out I popped.  100 miles to the north, and I would be Canadian.  Being Canadian would be cool too.  Chalk this one also under the heading “I’m proud mom forgot to use protection”, like inheriting wealth.

8.  I’m better educated.  Ah, if only this were true.  I AM better educated then most people, and even better, it’s not specialized.  I know a lot about a lot of things.  College is a hobby of mine.  Of course, this just hammers in to me just how ignorant I actually am.  Then, looking at other college students, getting their 4 year degree, no experience, and yet…they think they are better then people that have actually been DOING the job for years.

9.  I am of a certain background.  Race, creed, color, religion.  Hey, want to genetically make a superman?  Start interbreeding.  Dominant covers recessive genetics, so one genetic background with good traits will cancel out bad traits from another.  As for creed and religion, well…good luck with that one.  Everyone believes this, and SOMEONE has to be wrong.  Personally, I’m for everyone being wrong and paying me a dollar for it.  And don’t get me started on vegans, or PETA.

10.  I just AM better.  To those, I say these facts gleamed from reading cartoons.  It only takes 7 lbs of pressure to remove a knee cap.  Ears are detachable.  Within 60 years of life, the body starts to break down.  Living to 100 means 40 years of being elderly.  Fertilizer is organic.  I have influence on your kids.  The things you did at 20 will come back to bite you when you are 40.  Oh, and I saw your smoking hot gf with your cool items with a much better looking guy at the vd clinic as I drove by.  They have your credit card.  Good luck with that!