Well heck yes I’m still around. Just missing in action for awhile. Not that I have much to contribute…life just seems to blow on by and although the events change somehow it seems like nothing much has happened. I too made it to a wedding earlier this summer. Tedious things in my opinion. I even had a job in this one. I got to walk up front at the beginning and light a few candles. I told the photographer that I got ripped off. My name wasn’t listed in the “program”. I thought it should have been there and I would have preferred the title Wax Illuminator.

We moved last month. Another tedious thing. This was the shortest move I’ve ever made though. Literally, across the street and down a few houses. Everyone seemed to think it was pretty funny. I had my reasons and no I didn’t rent a moving truck. They always say you are not supposed to buy the best house on the block…well the heck with that. Now I can sit back and enjoy the fruit of someone else’s labor. There is a huge amount things that just disappeared from the honey-do list. Heavy duty stuff like kitchen remodeling, landscaping, driveway repair, window replacements, and so on. Plus I now have this awesome shed. Very large and built like a brick sh*#house. My lawnmower now has a proper habitat instead of hiding under a ratty old blue tarp beside the house.

I don’t have aspergers.  Let me state that right now.

Wedding went off without a hitch.  Groom showed up, bride looked wonderful, everything went off like clockwork.  I wore the red shirt.

Reception?  I lasted half an hour before I had to leave.  I don’t handle boredom well…I HAVE to do things.  Sitting and making small talk isn’t doing something, unless we’re very animated and I can put my full brain on the subject.  Unfortunatly, talking about people’s relatives and/or celebrities actually LOWERS my attention span.  So I left.

This brings me to my point.  Yes, I am a bit shy, I am a little/lot ackward in social situations, and I do NOT have aspergers.  More to the point, I won’t even consider I have it until I have documented evidence from a doctor.  For that matter, I have met a person or three who have claimed to have aspergers, but none of them have actually seen a doctor about it.  They claim it, so it must be so!  Or maybe not.

I point out that they are not doctors, and maybe they should see one before making their claims.  Well, two of them I said that.  The third one I just said she would be able to make friends if she just stopped being a mean biatch.  I like sarcasm done well, but she was just nasty to people.

It’s like the lady I once met.  She weighed in at over 300 lbs.  However, it wasn’t because she was eating twice as much as me, and trust me, I can eat…it was because of her thyroid.  I asked…she wasn’t on meds to control it.  I asked about her doctor…she wasn’t seeing one.  Now, I HAVE known people with thyroid conditions, and one of them was of the sort where it was causing her to gain weight.  She saw a doctor, watched her diet, exercised, and still experienced a slow weight gain.  It does happen.  But for the one lady…no.  Not really.

It was an excuse.  People self diagnose themselves to excuse themselves.  Lousy at social interactions?  Aspergers.  Fat?  Genetic/thyroid.  Mean bastard?  Mommy never hugged him/hugged too much/hugged just enough/hugged someone else more/etc.

So no excuses.  Eat right, exercise, see a doctor, get into other social circles, get a life coach, think before speaking, make yourself useful, stop caring what everyone else thinks about you.  One person I worked with was mean as a snake to me, but she was honest.  She was obese because she loved to eat, hated exercise, and as for being mean…she was a control freak and hated that I had an anti-authoritative outlook.  Her words.

Like I said, I don’t handle boredom well, so I keep busy.  This gets me into trouble sometimes, but I’ve come to accept it, and to love that I know more and have done more then a lot of people.  It’s not aspergers.  Trust me on this…the docs would have said.

This kind of rambles a bit, so if you get lost, well, you’re out of luck.  Sorry.

 To start…I have a friend, who is married for the moment.  He went away for training, she had an affair.  Several times.  So, they gave me the cat, and she went to Texas.  Now, I wanted to keep in contact with her despite everything, but she didn’t have a phone, a mailing address, or even check her e-mail.  What to do?

 Myspace.  She has and uses her myspace page.  OK…I knew what to do.  Alas, it proved impossible to develop telepathy in the time provided, so I was forced to make my own page.  Then I wept uncontrollably in the shower from shame.

 At least, I would have had I actually been able.  Someone was already using my e-mail address!  The scum!  A little research, and I discover that the scum was me, as part of a school project back when myspace was just getting started.  Judging from the answers given, I’ve pretty much ALWAYS been a jerk.  I wonder what grade I got in that class…

So what to put in it?  I don’t write much, I have a blog barren of life already, and I generally don’t care about what other people find interesting.  Then I had an idea…a long time ago, in I&I, I asked people to post their stories of how they met their SO.  People came through for me.  In spades.    It gave me hope for the future.  It gave me warm fuzzys.  It gave me the confidence I needed to go out and eventually get a girlfriend.  And no, I don’t blame anyone for that fiasco except her and I, so don’t worry…y’all are all off the hook.  I forgive you.

But it was a great idea!  Why didn’t I think of this before?  Well, see, one time during a storm, there was this extra electricity that fried my hard drive, and I lost it all.  So, I contacted some people I knew, and got their stories.  Posted them.  Then I searched the I&I archives for the original set, and even managed to find them.  They were, of course, closed due to massive spambot postings, but thats ok…I wrote to Arcterex to see what he could do.  Haven’t heard back yet.  Then, contrary to my normal feelings, I went out looking for people to befriend.

I found someone I used to date…we had good times, so that was one.  I found someone that I took to my 10 year reunion…she’s married now, and removed her profile about 2 days after we friended each other.  It wasn’t THAT bad a date…found a friend that moved to Kentucky, his gf, and his sister.  Not the same person, mind you, even if it IS Kentucky.  And, I found someone I had a crush on in high school.  She’s going through a bitter divorce, just like my friend, for the same reason.  Well, her ex slept around, not her, so not exactly the same thing.

No, I’m not trying to get with her while she’s vulnerable.  I’m a jerk, not an ass.  I’d much rather miss my chance then do that.

But, it got me thinking.  She’s getting divorced.  My friend is getting divorced.  But another friend just had their anniversary, and this Saturday, I’m going to a wedding.  I’m not thinking about MY wedding…I know I am perfectly unlovable.  We even made t-shirts on this, and why would we go through that effort if it isn’t true?  I wore one to my sisters house…thankfully, her husband saw it first, and thought it hilarious, so it was either laugh along or hit both of us.

Or, in this instance, wait till her hubby was out of the room and THEN hit me.

It’s not hard.  I just used some stencils and some laundry markers.  When the lady at the YMCA saw it, she hit me too.  Yeesh…christians are supposed to be non-violent.  Maybe because the shirt was green?

 So…here is my question.  Should I wear the red dress shirt, or the grey one to the wedding this Saturday?