In my line of work, I get to hear all kinds of weird things.  Most of them are along the lines of “Sure, that thing is costed out, and correctly too!”  and “No, we stopped using that horribly expensive item, and have no idea why we just bought 6 more cases.  No, that can’t be my signature on the order, either…”

Someone was honest the other day, and it shocked me so much, I automatically assumed he was lying and started doing research on it.  This is someone to watch…he is obviously trying to lull me into a false sense of security.  I digress.

On top of that, I live in the bible belt, in rednecksville.  People still believe that everything was made from the armpit of a grape or something like that, a few millennia ago, for the sole purpose of having a woman eat a piece of fruit so the man may lust after her cooking skills.  Or something.  I wasn’t really listening.  Being a decent Christian, I forgive them their faults in their beliefs.  Some of my best friends call themselves pagans (The only definition I have just means they are not of the faith.  Which means practically everyone, if we go by the criteria of each faith, which we have to, since which faith is required is never firmly established.  At least not in MY dictionary) but have yet to spin ONE menorah, or paint a mural on the wailing wall.  They do, however, use lots of beer in their weekly celebration of the death of the work week.  Being a good friend, I forgive them and steadfastly refuse to interfere (other then to buy my share of the beer) or explain.  At least this group hasn’t proclaimed themselves Wiccans so they might get drunk, stoned, dance naked, and forget to bathe (No, seriously, that’s what they thought it was all about!  Sorry, I never saw any of them naked, so I have no pics.  Not to mention you would NOT have appreciated them anyways.  Trust me.).

Being a good hypocrite, I also forgive myself for MY paganism as a good Christian.

But that is just ordinary weirdness.  While perusing the Bad Astronomy website, www.badastronomy.com for the link, I found some more weirdness.  REAL weird stuff.

People out there still believe in a flat earth.  Terry Pratchett, eat your heart out, and that’s all I have to say on this.

People out there still believe in creationism.  Ok, lets ignore a complete lack of any scientific evidence FOR creationism.  Lets ignore the huge amount of scientific evidence for evolution.  Lets completely ignore everything we have ever learned.  Now, open your wallets, and send me all your money, because I am a good a true man, and as such, you really should.  Every time you do this, I will utter a prayer for you along the lines of “Dear god, he actually WAS stupid enough to fall for it!”.  On the other hand, for people too smart for this argument, lets look at this logically.  Say the world really IS only 6 millennia old.  God must have made everything look older for a purpose, and provided so much supporting evidence for evolution for a reason, and continuing to fight this means that you are violating the will of god and will go straight to hell.  Some claim the evidence is a test of satan, which is EXACTLY what satan wants you to think so you will betray god and go to hell.  However, for 3 low monthly payments of $19.95, I shall pray for you…

The oddest belief I have found at Bad Astronomy has been that of Geocentricism.  That has quite few letters and syllables in it, so I might have missppelledd it.  This is the big version of geocentricism, not the little version, with the little version being locating something by way of using the earth as a central point.  Think GPS.  The big version puts the earth at the center.  Of everything.  Solar system, galaxy, universe, multiverse, armpit of the grape…everything.   Of course, I may have gotten something wrong here…I WAS laughing pretty hard.  Then I sat and thought about.  If you adjust your thinking, and completely rearranged the entire armpit…I mean universe…you COULD force it to revolve around a central point.  This point would be very far away, however, and is most likely empty space, so we’ll work harder and make it the earth.  My gosh!  The Geocintricistsistsists or whatever they may call themselves may be right!  The earth is stationary, with the sun revolving round it.  The other planets still revolve around the sun (although I once heard that, technically, they are actually falling into it and keep missing [Which leads credence to my “This place is messed up” theory of reality.]), of course, the galaxy spins on an axis with us as the center, our galaxy the central point of the universe, etc.  And the central point of the earth will be a rusted out old dodge caravan!  It all made sense now!  I knew what I had to do!  And I did it, too. 

I read the rest of the article.  I did mention I was a hypocrite…daring to investigate an unsubstantiated claim.  Basically, what it said was that yes, we could do that, although it would be a horrible nightmare involving lots of fudging, fuzzy thinking, and odd math, but if we can do it for one point, we can do it for any point, which completely removes the point behind the one point thingy.  Pluto could then be the center of everything, which would make the guys in
New Mexico fighting to keep it a planet very happy.

But that’s ok.  I forgive them for their beliefs.  Pluto, after all, was a god, and Charon was only the riverman.  I mean, who ever heard of a riverman making something that lasts 6000 years?  Do they even HAVE grapes in space?

Sheeesh! What is it about our human nature that can, in the blink of an eye, turn us from a nice guy into a bloodthirsty killer? I was crossing the street yesterday and some guy whizzes by shouting out the window at me..A$$hole! Huh? What? Surely you are not talking to me? All I’m doing is crossing the street and you’re two lanes away. But he was. For whatever bizarre reason my presence angered him.

I didn’t respond. At least not externally. What amazed me was how consumed I became over the next twenty minutes or so envisioning ways I would have like to have seen the drama played out. Mostly it was the John Wayne/Clint Eastwood approach. Drag-em out of the car and beat em to a bloody pulp, throw some large rocks through the rear window and smash his head with one, and last but not least.. whip out a non-existent 45 magnum and blow-em away…. Hahaha… Make-my-Day-Punk!

How appalling that sort of stuff is lurking below the surface. Evil abounds in the hearts of men. No wonder we need a Savior.

Well….yesterday was pretty darn awesome!

I had a midterm exam to deal with on Saturday but Sunday was supposed to be really nice in the weather department and we decided to take our new snowshoes and head for the Continental Divide. Wanted to get an early start but hooey….bad timing on the “spring forward” thing. Still, we managed to get headed out by 7:30 or so and were eating breakfast in Buena Vista, CO a few hours later.

After a hearty breakfast at the Roosters Crow we headed up towards Cottonwood Pass to find the Denny Creek Trailhead. What we found was around thirty or so trucks with trailers and snowmobiles all over the place. They were having a blast roaring up the road to the pass which is closed for the winter. Nevertheless, we did find a parking space and got our gear on and headed up the trail. The snowmobiles were quickly forgotten as we headed up through the forest, around the bend, and entered the Collegiate Peaks Wilderness.

The trail was nicely snow packed and we were able to make good time as we worked our way up the valley. When we did venture off trail we found the drifts were quite deep but were able to stay on top of them for the most part. Abby (beagle-ish type dog) quickly decided the trail was a better choice for her. A little over a mile or so up the trail we found the sign pointing the way to the Mt Yale summit (14,196 ft) but did not think we were in good enough shape to tackle that. We continued up the trail towards Browns Pass taking in the awe-inspiring beauty of the Rocky Mountains in winter. We were surrounded on all sides by the Collegiate Peaks.

The sky was that deep blue color and there was not a cloud to be seen. The temps were climbing along with us and the layers started coming off so we did not overheat. After another mile of trekking we made it up to the junction of Hartenstein Lake trail which is in a large meadow-like area and rested for a while. Our goal was to make it to the top of Browns Pass. So far we had gained about 1,200 ft in elevation and my leg was starting to complain. We decided to push on anyway and see how far we could make it. The trail shortly disappeared and we found ourselves breaking trail as we went. In about a half a mile it became apparent that my leg was not going to make it and we were forced to turn around. We were at 11,250 ft elevation and still had another mile to go topping out at 12,000ft.

The trip back down went quickly and was much easier on my leg. Back in the Jeep and stop at Cottonwood Hot Springs on the way down. Aaahhhhhhhh! Geothermal hot springs. What a way to finish off a wilderness adventure. There are three outdoor pools ranging in temp from Too Hot, Hot, and Warm. We stayed for an hour then drove back into Buena Vista, stopping by Bongo Billy’s coffeehouse for some nourishment and then headed for home.

I’m here to tell you….I slept GOOD last night. I’ll try and post a picture when I get the prints back from Snapfish.

Perhaps I should explain.  I am comfortable being alone.  I have a dry wit, and a slightly different sense of humor.  I have no patience for people being deliberately stupid and/or ignorant.  Despite this, I am know as being a cheerful, friendly sort of person, if a bit acerbic.  People seem to like me, and I seem to like them.  I just don’t trust them, is all.

Enter last Friday.  My hair was getting a little shaggy.  I’ve discovered that the older I get, the shorter I like it…in the summertime, I get a military cut.  This is still winter though, and so I decide to go have a standard cut.  Everything is fine.  The place is packed with the usual stereotypes.  Mom with three kids, boys sent there by their moms to “get a decent hair cut” that leave looking exactly the same as before because mom didn’t stick around to make sure.  The guy with his girlfriend in his lap, neither one looking like they have had puberty for more then a year or two.  That’s ok…I’m fine with them.

In walks a man.  Lets call him Bill.  It is 65 out, he is wearing a baggy blue sweater you don’t see usually on people under the age of 70.  Bill is in his mid 40’s.  His mustache covers most of his mouth.  Bill signs in, and sits next to me.  Dear pete, I just realized why…later.

Bill, despite being an average sized man, manages to take up not only his chair, but part of mine as well so our arms are touching.  I dislike this.  I shift.  He shifts.  I shift.  He shifts, and starts breathing.  Moistly.  Before I could go out to my car to get some device to express my displeasure with, I am called.

By the way, I think my stylist was on crack.  No, really.  She usually does a great job.  Hard to mess up “Cut it really short, but not so short I’m bald.”  She does that good.  “Give me a normal, short hair cut” was apparently impossible.  I mean, that’s not even a funny request…why keep giggling?  For 15 MINUTES?!?

Bill is called after me.  I get my cut, he gets a trim.  He finishes before me.  I pay, walk out to my car, and there is Bill, standing in the road, watching something.

Nothing over there except for a couple of young teenagers.  Almost children, actually.  Wonder what he could be looking at?  Hands in pants, he turns and walks away.  I still see nothing…not even the teenagers, as they just went into a store.

Yeah, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  I mean…eww.  I’m trying to break the habit of walking around with my hands in my pockets now because of Bill.

So no, I don’t hate everyone.  Just people like Bill.  Bill, who shifted to keep touching and breathing on me, who positioned himself to check out the butt of the 13 to 14 year old girl, who watched more teenage girls walking.  Bill with the droopy mustache.

But doesn’t mean I’ll start LIKING anyone…