Why is it that hobbies end up being so expensive? I’ve had a number of them over the years and they always start out quite innocuous. Sooner or later you realize you’ve gotten in deeper than you ever thought possible.

My most recent hobbies are photography and numismatics. Actually, these are older hobbies that have experienced a resurgence of interest. The photography interest took off a couple of years ago when I realized I could pick up a very nice film-based SLR for next to nothing. I had always wanted a SLR but was afraid of getting sucked into the “if I just had a flommydoocher I could really [fill in blank]” routine. Next thing you know you have this whole closet full of stuff that rarely sees the light of day.

So far I’ve managed to keep it under control. It still spends way too much time in the closet but I have managed to get some very nice photos during some camping trips over the past year. A few of them were good enough to blow up and hang on the wall.

What neglected hobbies are cluttering up your closet?

It was sometime this fall if I remember correctly that Ronda ran afoul of the grinding government bureaucracy. It was one of those things that leaves you shaking your head wondering whatever became of common sense. She really had no one but herself to blame for ending up in this scenario and to her credit she handled it extraordinarily well. I think if it had been me I would have ended up in jail.

This story revolves around a little rectangular piece of paper known as the social security card. This little gem entitles you to money from the government when you retire. Well…maybe, but that’s another story. For the moment we have the promise of future income. As the system became computerized they started mailing out an annual statement showing you how many dollars you have earned over your lifetime and what your projected retirement income would be if you maintained your current earnings. Ronda’s always came in her maiden name. You see, despite the fact we’ve been married for 30 years it just never quite made it to the top of the to-do list. Some things are just easily forgotten, especially if it involves dealing with the bureaucracy.

This year it did make it to the top of the to-do list and Ronda called down to the local office to inquire what she needed to bring. It was all very simple they said… “bring down proof of citizenship, your marriage license, and ID.” Ok, well that sounds pretty easy….NOT!

It went something like this… “Proof of citizenship please…[hands over passport]…Thank you, Marriage license?….[hands over marriage license]…Thank you, ID please?…[hands over drivers license]…ummm no this won’t do…[hands over military id]…ummm no this won’t work either. What we need is something that proves who you were before you were married….[hands over original social security card with maiden name]…oh sorry, this can’t be used for identification”

I would have started getting a little unhinged about now. “Look, this is the original SSN card you issued me back in the stone age. I still have it. I have all the documents proving the marriage, plus lot’s of official government proof of who I am. Let’s not be stupid OK?”

Probably about this time is when you notice the police officer over in the corner, and he seems to be looking at you. [What a bummer of a duty assignment for a cop, but yeah, it's a full-time job]

Until recent times your Social Security Number (SSN) was the premier ID when it came to proving who you were. Your banker wanted it, the employer wanted it, the Infernal Revenue Service wanted it, the motor vehicle department wanted it, anyone and everyone knew that your SSN identified you. Now the people who issued it to you in the first place won’t even recognize it.

OK, now think about the logistics of this one. What official documents might you have that would prove your identity some 30 years ago. Not as simple as you might think:
a) birth certificate [good guess, first thing we thought of too. Sorry no good, go to the end of the line]
b) baptismal record [ummm, afraid not]
c) keep digging! You’ll find something somewhere.

Three trips to the social security office! They keep adding little tidbits of why this is not quite good enough. “What we really need is an official government document that identifies you, your parents, where you lived, what your dog’s name was [not really], and with a picture too.” I would have definitely been in jail by now.

Back home again, down in an obscure corner of the basement, we find Ronda’s “memory box”. This beauty is full of “really old” stuff. I can’t believe the stuff that’s in here! Elementary school records, Sunday School attendance records, immunization records, newspaper clippings. Wow! The mother lode. Still…..none of them have ALL the things they want on a single document.

The best thing I could piece together was a dated newspaper clipping when she won the 4-H Grand Champion prize from the Iowa State Fair showing her sheep. It had all the necessary items including a picture of her with the Governor. I added to that the congratulations letter she got from the Governors office (official document on State letterhead). AND to top it off the big pretty blue ribbon. Together it seemed to me that it pieced together a pretty good set of documentation. I’ll bet CSI would have been happy with it, after all they can build an entire case off the dirt under your fingernails. As a backup plan I told her to take the entire box with her.

Fourth trip – They wouldn’t accept it. Go figure. She dumped the whole box on the counter and told them it was all she had. They sorted through it and FINALLY (more out of embarrassment than anything else) decided that the immunization record was ok.

I’m happy to report that she finally has her new SSN card. She should have gotten a Grand Champion prize in patience for dealing with bureaucratic morons.

Time has passed since you went away
Still, we think of you each passing day

We wonder if you are near or far
Shining like some bright star

Our wish is that you are free
Being what you want to be

All our love to you we send
Our search for you will never end

Stay well and safe Iambe

Here we go… Life, the Universe and Everything post-Iambe. It seems an appropriate day to launch this site. The wind is howling like a banshee outside and the snow is so thick you can barely see your hand in front of your face. Life as we know it is grinding to a halt. Today a storm, tomorrow a new beginning. Outside it looks like a giant hand is shaking the Etch-A-Sketch.

For some reason poetry seems to be the right thing for today. The following poem, “A Piece of the Storm,” is one that appears in Mark Strand’s collection that won the Pulitzer Prize, Blizzard of One.

From the shadow of domes in the city of domes,
A snowflake, a blizzard of one, weightless, entered your room
And made its way to the arm of the chair where you, looking up
From your book, saw it the moment it landed. That’s all
There was to it. No more than a solemn waking
To brevity, to the lifting and falling away of attention, swiftly,
A time between times, a flowerless funeral. No more than that
Except for the feeling that this piece of the storm,
Which turned into nothing before your eyes, would come back,
That someone years hence, sitting as you are now, might say:
“It’s time. The air is ready. The sky has an opening.”